


A Candy Apple A Day

by LunaScriptor



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anesthesia, Bucky is high as a kite, Dental Surgeon Tony, First Meeting, Fluff, Inspired by Twitter, M/M, Morphine, Patient Bucky, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, assumed alien abduction, dentist tony, doped up at the dentist after surgery, meet cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22637107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaScriptor/pseuds/LunaScriptor
Summary: Bucky is so high on morphine after getting his wisdom teeth removed that he thinks his dental surgeon is an alien. Steve records him.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 14
Kudos: 302





	A Candy Apple A Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a twitter thread with most of Bucky's high dialogue and the plot beats coming directly from there.

"How are you feeling, Mr. Barnes?" 

Bucky whines as the voice says his name. No. He was sleeping. He didn’t want to talk to any voices right now. He tries to open his eyes before giving up completely. It was too monumental a task when he knew there were bright lights beyond the darkness of his closed eyes. The voice repeats the question as something touches Bucky’s wrist.

"Fusty," he mumbles around whatever is in his mouth.

Two distinct laughs fill the room. One is definitely Steve's and it makes Bucky's head pound. The other is soft and as sweet as music. Like what unicorns must sound like while serenading beautiful virgin maidens. Bucky wants to be that virgin maiden for the rest of his life.

"You can have ice chips if you let me remove your gauze," the voice offers.

Bucky whines again but opens his mouth as weird, fleshy fingers touch his lips. He manages to get one eye partly open just as the blue hand pulls something red out of his mouth. He gasps. Tries to sit up but his whole body is numb. Oh shit. Oh fuck. The aliens! They were finally here. He told Steve they were coming! He'd said it when they were twelve but still! He looks up to meet the eyes of the alien who just stole his tongue.

He blinks slowly when he sees the same whiskey eyes he remembers from before he fell asleep. The alien was beautiful even with half its face covered. Bucky frowns as the alien pulls a second red thing out of his mouth then places a chip of ice to Bucky's lips. He moans softly. His mouth is so dry.

Once the cottonmouth fades, Bucky grins at the alien. "Who are u.....an angel? MY angel.......... goed sent............." He tries to touch a hand to his lips but neither of them went where he wants. "Wow......." His arms flop back down. "I will marry you… Angel...... mwah!" 

The alien’s eyes crinkle up at the corners and Bucky is sure they're glowing as his own eyes grow too heavy to stay open. He falls asleep to the alien pushing something back into his mouth. 

______ 

Tony pulls off his gloves once he’s finishes putting fresh gauze into Barnes’ mouth. “He should be like this for a-” He starts to say but pauses when he sees the phone that the blond in the guest chair was holding. “Blackmail?”

“Yep!” Steve chirps, grinning from ear to ear. He finally stops recording when Dr. Stark leaves the room.

______ 

The alien was back! 

"Steeb! Steeb!" Bucky hisses while flailing a hand at his friend, "The alien!" 

The alien pauses and removes its mask. "I thought you said I was an angel?"

Bucky's jaw would have fallen open if he wasn't already slack-jawed and drooling on himself. He tries to reach out. Makes grabby hands at the alien but his arms are so heavy that they quickly flop back down. "mmMm Hansom man!" He looks off to the side. ".... who is this beside me...... Oh! Steeeb! steb..... who is this Gorjus man…? Booful alien angel man!" 

Steve and the alien laugh. "No more Ancient Aliens for you, jerk. Just rest," Steve says while patting Bucky's head. 

The alien comes over to gently touch his cheek. "Your friend is right. Get some sleep. You'll be home soon."

Bucky leans into the touch before reaching up to finally grab the alien's hand. "ok.... Back on Earfff… i love u.... The godnnight." He falls asleep to the glowing whiskey eyes again.  


______ 

"He'll be okay to go home the next time he fully wakes up. Keep him on a soft food diet. Mashed potatoes, yogurt, apple sauce, and so on. And try not to let him propose to everyone he meets," Tony says with a chuckle as he gently removes his hand from Bucky’s surprisingly firm grip. 

Steve pats his friend's head again. Bucky snores loudly in response. "Don't worry, doc. He's a one alien sort of fella."  


______ 

Bucky's home by the end of the day and spends the rest of the night telling Sam, Natasha, Clint, and Steve all about his abduction. "He wa gorjus! His eyes gloweded! And… Andwe 'm getting Marnieal… marraged!" He has a huge, dopey smile on his face the whole time. His friends all think it would have been cute if his cheeks weren’t painfully swollen and he wasn't shoving mashed potatoes in his mouth. 

Steve records that too.  


______ 

Steve waits until Bucky is fully healed and no longer talking gibberish before insisting he lost something at the hospital. He never actually says what it is he lost but insists that he needs it back. Bucky rolls his eyes so hard it hurts but ends up going with Steve anyway. 

"Wonder if we'll see your doctor," Steve mentions in his 'I'm trying to be casual' tone. Bucky rolls his eyes again. He knew Steve had videos from after the surgery but he wouldn’t show anyone. Whenever Bucky asked what Steve was waiting for, the blond just smirked and said he was waiting for the wedding.

Sometimes Bucky wonders about their friendship.

“Mr. Barnes.” Bucky and Steve turn to see Dr. Stark walking down the hall towards them.

"Oh. Hey, doc,” Bucky greets.

Tony raises a brow as his eyes shine with amusement. “Is that any way to speak to your fiance?"

Bucky brow furrows before his gaze snaps to Steve. A look of pure horror on his face while his so-called best friend gives him a shit-eating grin in return. 

The wedding… 

"I am so sorry, Dr. Stark!” Bucky squeaks, “I was so fucked up and I don't remember a bit of it. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Not at all. I've never been called an alien before. It was quite interesting."

Bucky blushes and glares at Steve out of the corner of his eye. "Sorry. I'm really into sci-fi and I just...yeah. I'm sorry."

Tony nods. "Well, from the amount you're apologizing…. I suppose this means the engagement is off. It's a shame. I was going to suggest going to the fair this weekend. I know fireworks aren't all that alien but they're pretty cool. Anyway, it was nice talking to you while you're coherent, Mr. Barnes, but I have to get back to work now. Good afternoon."

Tony smiles as he turns to head down the hall. Bucky stares after him and doesn’t even breathe. His eyes locked on Tony. Then Steve smacks him hard on the arm to jumpstart his brain.

"Wait, doc! What time were you thinking?"  


______ 

"This was a terrible idea," Tony mutters between tiny bites of a candy apple.

"You're the one who said you'd never tried one, angel," Bucky replies while taking a big bite of his own.

"Yes. Because I care about my teeth! I wasn't deprived, I chose to avoid crap like this."

"I mean, you don't have to eat it if you don’t like it..."

"No, it's fine. It’s actually really good and we look adorable. I’m going to eat it. I'm just saying there's a good chance of cracking a tooth with every bite! Especially for children. And don't even get me started on caramel! That version is just as bad. All that stickiness and chomping? Barbarous. Plus, sticky sugars do more damage after the fact! Did you know it's not the sugar itself that damages your teeth but that you're feeding the bacteria that destroy your teeth?" Tony looks at Bucky before freezing up and taking a big bite of the candy apple. "Hm-mmy… Ahem. Sorry. I don't mean to rant. I just…" 

Bucky reaches out and lifts Tony's chin with two fingers. Both their lips were stained red from the candy and Bucky's stick to Tony's skin a little after he kisses his cheek. 

"I could listen to you for the rest of my life, sugar," he assures with a smirk. 

He laughs when Tony makes a disgusted sound and insists he'd rather be called _alien_ than _sugar_.  


______ 

They have a fall wedding with candy apples instead of a cake. Steve doesn't give a best man’s speech. He only plays a little video that starts with Bucky laying in a hospital bed, his cheeks swollen and drool on his chin, and Tony pulling on a pair of blue latex gloves.


End file.
